It’s quiet sometime now that I’ve been a supergirl wannabe! I wish I have Shiva’s many hands because I want to do plenty of things at the same time. I wish I have a centaur’s quadruple feet because I want to be in many places at once. I wish to become plenty of things so I entered all doors that were opened to me. I love the thrill of being from this to that. I love the rush of adrenaline from being here to there. It just excites me so much to experience everything that this world has to offer!
Until here comes the time that my body bagged down. My body which is made up of every single cell that I think are not healthy as before. I feel like a computer shutting down, a machine wearing off. When jaded was not a word for me, it already is now.
Then I come to think. What’s the worth of doing everything at once? What on earth am I so busy for? Was I working for power? Perhaps. Was I working for fame? Maybe. Was I working for money? Definitely!
Without power, I cannot have the authority to rule over my students and so-called friends who are just my subordinates. Without fame, I cannot have the connection to be in the social inner circle to get things on my speed dial. And without money, I cannot have both power and fame. These all I need for the lifestyle that I am keeping up.
So is this really what I want? Now that I am feeling something with my body, can I still keep up? The spirit is willing but the body is weak. I have to cut down on some intakes. I have to eliminate. I have to prioritize.
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In prioritizing, I have to make choices. In making choices, I have to prioritize. Which comes first? Which comes last? Just how and where to start? This is such a dilemma to deal with.
But as I am adjusting my focus, I found out that it is God I must see. Now this makes things even more complicated. More complicated if we see this through the flesh. However, God prompted me to focus on Him. If there are things I am doing that are not in line with His will, then I must stop. I have to learn to chop my whereabouts and whatabouts. This time, I will learn to be still.
Be still. Relax. Declutter. Prioritize. From now on, I will be reminding myself of these words. I know this is so hard for a workaholic like me but I won’t risk my physical body anymore. I do pray for health and wellness always. And a longer life to enjoy more of God’s gift to us!