Looking for a Reason to Stay

December of 2010 when I submitted a resignation letter to the administration of MUHS.  By then, I wanted to go back to the chemical industry.  Yes, I did went back!  I did went to Manila to start a job as a chemical engineer in a cosmetic manufacturing company.  But then again, it did not do me any good.  I missed home, I missed my store, I missed my friends, and most especially, I missed my students.  All I wanted to do was to go home and get back to my old routine.

But I did’t get back to my old routine.  Instead, I spent months giving time to myself searching for what I really want.  Then my previous colleagues encouraged me to go back to MUHS.  I got to think, why not?  I missed the students, I missed teaching them, I missed laughing with them, I missed scolding them, and I missed fighting with them!  So, I did got back!

Now that I’m here for months, it’s about time to rethink of spending another school year in this place I already considered home.  But based from my experiences this current school year, I realized that I couldn’t anymore.  I realized that I couldn’t stretch my patience with the kids nowadays.  They are just so different from the kids I had before!

For my kids before were rowdy yet manageable,

naughty yet sweet,

and mischievous yet respectful.

Kids nowadays are a far cry from what I had two years ago.  And as I go back to these old photos in FB, I reconsidered to look for a reason to stay.  But as I face the kids in my classes, I regret to say that I really couldn’t.

Maybe because I’m getting older that’s why my patience is not that much as I had before.

Or maybe because of my boring subject that kids had already mindset-ly and honestly loathed.

Or maybe it is because of my negative attitude toward the kids that kept them from liking me.

Or maybe because I had promised not to be over-emotionally attached to my students anymore.

Can I still turn back the time when I was once called a Ma’amy, a Ma’ama, and a Ma’amsky?

that I love them too and I still miss them so…..