Live While Waiting

Hi!  I’m Mary Rosalie T. Olandesca, chemical engineer, businesswoman, writer, turned old maid teacher!  What an introduction that is!  It is as if I’m already cursing myself to oldmaidoom!  Yeah, right!  I am doomed!  Doomed to be an effin’ fuckin’ old maid!  So that’s it!  Pardon me for such disgrace in using such shitty words but love life for me has been so shitty!

Well, I had already told my story here, here, and here!  So what’s it to be told again?  A recent crush who just ignored me?  Like I had gone down to a lower level just to reach him but still nothing happened?  Shame on me!  But that is all so true!

So what the hell is so wrong in me that I’ve never been courted since birth???!!!  Like, hello!!!!  Universe, do you still hear me???   Then I’ve got the answer.  One night on my Podcast, God reprimanded me and shouted at me, “WAIT!”  It was repeated over and over again, “WAIT ON GOD!”  “WAIT ON GOD!”  “WAIT ON GOD!”

Of course, I didn’t like the answer!  How long shall I still wait?  Another month?  Another year?  Another five years?  Or another decade?  What’s the logic?  I’m too old for that already!  How could I ever bear a child then?  Do I make any sense?  It is just so GRRRRR!!!!!!

But then again, I was reminded of PY Nakar’s words on her book, The Single Journey – “Live while waiting…..”  So I realized, if God will not still give me a boyfriend, so be it!  Why should I force Him to give me something which is not heartily given?  Like, do I have the right to demand?  But I’ve been good all my life!  Why couldn’t He just reward me a boyfriend?!!!!

However, with all these rants I could say that I still have to accept His answer.  If He wants me to wait, then I’ll wait!  I will live while waiting!  I will start partying all night, I will go on vacations on impulse, and I will splurge on material things every stable single lady should have!  If boys don’t want me, then I don’t want them too!  It’s their fuckin’ loss not to have me because I AM OH SO DAMN PRETTY, OVERLY SMART, AND FREAKIN’ SEXY!  And from now on, I will

live while waiting
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