Old Maid: The Bitter Version

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Old maid.  A scary word, isn’t it? I don’t understand why nine out of ten people make a very big deal out of this word. They consider it as a misfortune, an outcast, and worst of all, a scare! When a woman stays single, people immediately think that she’s not lucky in love. That she has been badly broken-hearted, that she has never had the chance to meet her soul mate, and that cupid missed his target on her. Pretty silly though, but it’s true. For they say that falling in love comes only once in our lives. And it’s up to us whether to pursue it or not.

Love is a risk and is a matter of taking chances. And these so-called “old maids” chose not to pursue it for very reasonable reasons…. Reasons that do not just came out of the blue but reasons that are based on experiences and truth. People also think that old maids are pitiful and miserable. It’s always a connotation that they are bitter to life. It has been a trademark for them to be moody, irritable, and unkind.  Well, these have reasons too. And whatever those reasons are, these are acceptable if only we open our minds and put our feet in their shoes.

Lastly, ladies are always threatened by the word “old maid”. Nobody ever wants to be one! As a result of the society’s prejudice, it became a mindset that being an old maid is a very unfortunate fate. It is as if it’s a curse, an incurable disease, and a disgrace. So what if there are old maids. Each one of them has her own unique story to tell that ought to be appreciated. So why pity them? It is their choice to stay single for through it, they find happiness. I think it’s about time for us to see old maids in a different way. Behind every choice are reasons. And behind every reason are principles. We can’t just choose and buy a pair of shoes without testing if it fits our size, suits our style, is comfortable to wear, and most importantly, serves to protect our feet as its purpose.

This was written last July 10, 2006 when I was enduring a job I didn’t like and found out one day that I wanted to write so I bought a little notebook to pour my thoughts on.  At that time, I still couldn’t afford a laptop and of all the topics ought to be written, this was my first entry.  And of all the topics posted on my blog, this was my fourth entry.  Like what the eff!  Did I prophesy myself to become an old maid?  ‘Coz now, I’m 38 and I’m an effin’ old maid! 

Now I’d like to retaliate what I had written fourteen years ago.  What could’ve been those “reasonable reasons” for such old maids to be old maids?  Because until now, I couldn’t see the light of being one!  Indeed, I’ve been unfortunate, unlucky and a big coward!  So, people are generally right.  But I still respect those who preferred to be old maids and are happy with their decision.  However, I still don’t think they’re happy because I am never happy being one!

Yes, old maids are pitiful, miserable, bitter, moody, irritable and unkind!  Give me all the negative adjectives in the world ‘coz look at me now.  I had turned into a cranky, old lady!  I’m a monster, I’m a bomb throwing shrapnel all over!  I don’t wanna be like this.  But I’m entitled to because I am an old maid.

As a girl, I really feared to be an old maid.  As I grew up I realized that it’s never a choice to stay single.  Those who stayed single only said that to console themselves.  They only say that they’re happy so people will not pity them.  Being alone but not lonely is a lie.  Truth is, it sucks being single when all of your friends had found their happy ending!  It sucks going to the movies alone.  It sucks dining out alone.  It sucks celebrating your birthday alone.  It sucks throwing a big party but at the end of the day when the lights are off, you’re still alone.  It sucks binge eating on junk foods at midnight alone.  So it’s never a choice to be alone!

For my last retaliation, old maids don’t have reasons.  Old maids don’t have principles.  Their so-called “reasons” and “principles” are just cover-ups.  For me, we are just poor unfortunate souls.  We are left with no choice.  The universe hasn’t been good for us.  This is our fuckin’ fate.  We didn’t test if being an old maid is for us but it has been written on our palms.  It’s just so unlucky for me.  I had become one and I’m alone and really lonely.  Just call me desperate but I’m not gonna sugarcoat the word “old maid” ever again!   

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