VERSE 1: EXISTENCE
You may not notice me
yet I exist
You may not appreciate my presence
yet I have sense
I just want you to be persistent
in making use of my
existence
VERSE 2: CAMOUFLAGE
iamnothidingmytrueself
iamafraidofhowyouwilldealwithme
andsoiblendwithwhoeverissurroundingme
icamouflagewiththem
VERSE 3: |UNGUARDED|
|Love| is ||not|| about |attractions|
It is even ||more than|| having |relations|
It speaks ||no|| |boundaries|
It is [unguarded]
VERSE 4: I HATE YOU
I hate you
I want you to keep away from me
I want you to disappear like bubbles
I want you to fade and leave no traces
I just want to wake up the next day without you
I just want to see a brighter me
I love myself without you
I hate you not because I do
but because you made me learn
how
to
fall
in
love!
VERSE 5: JUST HATE ME
Just hate me —
Just don’t bury your love
your love is like a seed
— it might grow
Just don’t cry
your tears will water the seedling
— your love might grow bigger
Just don’t be gone by the wind
the wind will give breath to the plant
— your love might become a tree
Just don’t stalk at my profile
your stares will be so glaring like a sunshine
— your love might allow the tree to bear flowers
Just don’t curse me
your curses are like prayers
— your love might allow the flowers to be fruits
Just hate me —
you may not forgive me
VERSE 6: I AM SAYING GOODBYE
I am saying goodbye…
not because I am leaving you
but because I will just go
to the other part
of the world
I am saying goodbye…
not because I am abandoning you
but because I will just need
to get back into the reality
of my work-a-day world
I am saying goodbye…
not because I am forgetting
but because I will just try
to find back home
of how much I can forgive myself
I am saying goodbye…
not because I want to
but because
I want to see you again
Goodbye…
-Written by Ted Nudgent Fernandez Tac-an in Jogjakarta, Indonesia on March 2015 during his Indonesian Arts and Culture Scholarship
Interview with the Writer
Me: How did you come up with the idea of writing these verses?
Ted: When I first arrived in Jogjakarta, I had a feeling of unnoticed. It was a personal feeling because I was thinking that locals didn’t see any difference with my physical outlook – I closely look like an Indonesian.
Me: There’s a saying that no man is an island. How did you manage to reach out to them?
Ted: Few days had passed and I still felt like being alone. And so, I tried to open to different possibilities in how can I mingle with my teammates.
Me: So were there any progress of your move?
Ted: A month had been unfolded and I started to embrace a home away from home. I once thought that I will just be a mere tourist here in Indonesia, yet I ended to love it now.
Me: Wow! So you’ve learned to surf through the waves. However, your stay was only temporary. How did you feel about it?
Ted: It was our last few days and separation anxiety kept winding my mind. I am in love with the extra special city of Jogjakarta!
Me: How did you cope up with separation anxiety?
Ted: Last week of the program was making my emotions unstable. I debriefed myself for me to feel easy going back home. I am sorry Jogjakarta, I am leaving the soonest.
Me: How did you end it up?
Ted: This was a heart breaking moment. I am saying goodbye!
More About Ted
Ted Nudgent Fernandez Tac-an is my colleauge in La Salle University who finished a Bachelor’s Degree in Secondary Education Major in Mathematics. Contrary, he’s based in Singapore at the moment to finish his scholarship in theater arts at Intercultural Theatre Institute. That’s why we clicked as friends. I’m an engineering and applied science nerdo yet turned out to be a lover of the arts and humanities. He on the other hand is a math geek yet turned out to be a globe-trotting artist. Do check out our very first project together last month during his very short vacay here in Phili in this post. In addition, he’s also one of the members of Misamis Occidental B/Vloggers. For more about Ted and his travel adventures, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and FOLLOW his social media accounts below!
FB Page: Ted Nudgent Fernandez Tac-an
YouTube: Travel Beyond Imaginations
IG: @tednudgent
For questions, invites, and collaborations, direct message me on Facebook. For updates on my whereabouts and whatabouts, follow me on Twitter and Instagram!
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